Graduation is fast approaching. I graduate in September and July is next week. I can’t believe it came already. Three years have literally come and gone and now I have to be thinking about the next stage of my life. Imagine!
I had to do a resit, so I’m still waiting to find out what grade I’ll be graduating with, but if my calculations are correct, I’ll be graduating with a 2:1. However, I only just make the band, so if they’re wrong, I’ll be graduating with a 2:2. This is not at all what I want. Since I’ve been at this uni, I’ve been getting 2:2’s so I wanted to leave with at least a 2:1. I mean a 2:2’s not bad in the grand scheme of things, but you know when you have expectations of yourself… To be honest, after the year that I’ve had, graduating at all is a serious achievement despite what grade I get. I was really tested this year, in more ways than one. I made decisions that I didn’t even know I was ready to make, but most importantly, I would like to say that I grew. I grew as a person.
It was a difficult year. I had more than one breakdown, too many to count, and because of the person that I am I told no one. Now, I’m talking about breakdowns where all you can do is cry. I cried so much! My friend was even staying over one night when it happened, but I still didn’t let them know. I couldn’t sleep that night and I have no idea why. The funny thing is that in the morning they mentioned how I kept moving around, oblivious to what had really happened. I just silently cried myself to sleep that night. Imagine. Lol, I’m even crying now just thinking about it. I felt like I was handling it though. I blocked out all things that were just adding extra, unnecessary stress to my life so that I could focus properly on what was important. The biggest one of all was my house! If I was to address everything that went on in this place, I would have surely gone mad! Some things happened that I didn’t even know could happen. For example, would you believe that one of my housemates took the kitchen bin. The bin. The flipping bin! Now there’s just a black bag left in it’s place, the kitchen constantly stinks, but all I can do is laugh. And that was just one part of what I had to go through. Not to mention the stress that uni itself was giving me.
I have never felt stress like I felt this year. I was receiving grades that made no sense when looking at the work that I handed in. And to make it worse, the criticism was always the same or similar to others who received different, and in some cases, better grades than me. I’m telling you, I have never been so rattled in my life, like how I was rattled this year. Even my final paper, my only and last exam had me rattled beyond belief. This year was an absolute joke. I’m so happy that it’s over. And would you believe that even after going through all of that, I’m currently in the middle of sending off an application to come back and do masters next year?! I mean it’s either I’ve gone mad, or I’ve gone mad.
Despite all that though, I’m really gonna miss it. I’m never gonna get life like this again. Uni, despite all the ups and downs, is an amazing experience and I’d do it again, if you took out the uni work lol. But seriously though, when I leave this place all the friends that I made here are not just gonna be next door, or just down the road. I have friends going back to Essex. And if it wasn’t for my best friend having to get a job in London earlier than planned, she would have been going back to Gloucester. Gloucester! Please, ask me if I even know where Gloucester is. Life as I know it is all gonna change, and it’s gonna be a big struggle going back home. I’ve grown to love my independence and it’s just not gonna be the same when I get home. I’m really gonna miss it.
Right now though, I have a graduation outfit to find, and I’m torn between wearing a pant’s suit or a dress. I already know how I’m gonna do my hair, I just need to find what I’m wearing, not to mention the shoes! I actually can’t wait. Your girls gonna be a graduate, a graduate in Law. Wow! If my mother could see me now. It’s special days like this where she’s missed even more. It just makes it all bitter sweet. I know she’d be proud though. Her only child, a graduate. I’m telling you,it’s all and only God, because if it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure if I would be able to say that. I made it though. I actually made it!
I eat cake 